You Stole My Heart… Resources

Welcome to the resources page for You Stole My Heart… Do I Have To Take Your Name? Here you’ll find links to resources referenced in the book or used in its preparation, in order of appearance.

Names are Important

Freakonomics Podcast. How Much Does Your Name Matter?

Dubner, S.J. (2011) Zymor’s Revenge. Freakonomics Blog. (For more on relationship between the letter your last name starts with, and academic success)

Levitt, S.D. & Dubner, S.J. (2015) Think Like a Freak. William Morrow. (For more on the relationship between marriage and happiness)

A Country By Any Other Name

Wikipedia has a summary of the Macedonia naming dispute

You can find our photos of North Macedonia on our travel instagram account, @escapementality

Why Name Choices Can Spell Trouble

Summary of the University of Indiana survey

My Experience

Pasfield-Neofitou, S. How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring? Enrichmentality.

Surnames Haven’t Always Been Around… And They’re Far From Universal

Wikipedia has a summary of the history and regional variation of surnames

From Patronymics To Matronymics – And Everything In Between

Majkut, K. (2014) Is Choosing to Take Your Husband’s Surname Really Feminist? The Feminist Bride.

Majkut, K. (2018) The Adventures and Discoveries of a Feminist Bride: What No One Tells You Before You Say “I Do”. Black Rose Writing.

One Partner Changes Their Name to the Other Partner’s

Garcia, S. (2016) Most Australian Women Still Take Husband’s Surname After Marriage, Professor Says. ABC. (Contains statistics from the Men’s Health 2013 poll)

Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS). Australian Households and Families (“only 71.5% of Australian households consist of families – and the definition of ‘family’ according to the ABS (and me too, actually) includes couples without children. Of the households characterised as ‘families’, couples without children are now more common than couples or single parents with children. Combining these figures, just over half of Australian households consist of a single person or a couple, while nuclear, step, blended, and other families, as well as shared house arrangements, make up the rest.” – Enrichmentality)

Etsy provides many examples of wedding paraphernalia with some version of “He stole my heart… so I’m taking/stealing his last name” on tank tops, photo signs, wooden plaques, custom T-shirts, wedding signs, engagement announcement cards, mugs, and even a glitter-lettered veil.

McDonough, K. (2013) Man Who Adopted His Wife’s Last Name is Accused of Fraud. Salon.

Majkut, K. (2014) 10 Wedding Traditions Worth Skipping. The Feminist Bride

Levitt, S.D. & Dubner, S.J. (2009) Freakonomics. William Morrow Paperbacks. (first names)

Pilcher, J. (2017) Names and “Doing Gender” How Forenames and Surnames Contribute to Gender Identities, Difference, and Inequalities. Sex Roles.

The Knot. An LGBTIQ+ Couple’s Guide to Marriage Name Changes. (Contains statistics from the Q.Digital/TheKnot 2017 poll)

Valosik, V. (2013) For Same-Sex Couples, Changing Names Takes On Extra Significance. The Atlantic.

Sandberg, S. (2013) Lean In. Knopf.

Garcia, P. (2015) In a Same-Sex Marriage, Who Gets To Keep Their Name? Vogue.

Stark, S. Game for the Name. The New York Times. (video)

No Name Change

Check out writer @brenda.struhko on instagram.

Naish, N. (2014) Why Amal Clooney is Making a Mistake by Assuming Her Actor Husband’s Surname. Legal Cheek.

DeParle, J. & Tavernise, S. (2012) For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage. The New York Times.

Swinford, S. (2013) Most Children Will Be born Out of Wedlock by 2016. The Telegraph.

Groffman, A. How Gay Travel is Different (And Why It Matters) Nomadic Matt.

Deveny, C. (2017) Why Aren’t Men Changing Their Name After Marriage? ABC.

Schafer, E.F. (2017) Hillary Rodham Versus Hillary Clinton: Consequences of Surname Choice in Marriage.

Miss Now Mrs. (2017) 70% of Americans Believe Women Should Change Their Name After Marriage: A Name-Change Expert Sounds Off.

Wang, W. (2015) The Link Between a College Education and a Lasting Marriage. Pew Research Center.

Etymonline: Bachelor (etymology of the term ‘bachelor’ and ‘bachelor’s degree’)

Behind the Name: son (etymology of -son and related suffixes in surnames)


Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2018) The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Orion Spring

Emens, E.F. (2011) Marriage Options: A Simple Hyphen Will Do. The New York Times.

Erichsen, G. (2019) Spanish Surnames: ‘Last names’ come from both mother and father. ThoughtCo.

Adopting Your Partner’s Name as a Middle Name (Or the other way around)

Scheuble, L.K. & Johnson, D.R. (2016) Keeping Her Surname as a Middle Name at Marriage: What Predicts this Practice Among Married Women Who Take Their Husband’s Last Name? Names: A Journal of Onomastics.

Blending/Creating a New Name

Deitz, B. (2015) Married Couples Who Made Up Their Own Last Name And Are Better Off For It. Bustle.

Hazel ( Same-Sex Marriage – What/Who’s Surname to Choose? Pink Wedding Venues.

Suzzgen. Surname Prefixes and Suffixes. All About Genealogy.

Consider Your Name as a Whole Top 10 Baby Names Tips.

Pronunciation and Spelling

Levitt, S.D. & Dubner, S.D. (2016) When to Rob a Bank. William Morrow Paperbacks. (For more on aptonyms, or names that are strangely apt for a person’s profession etc.)

Belenzon, S., Chatterji, A.K. & Daley, B. (2017) Eponymous Entrepreneurs. American Economic Association. (The success of companies named after their founders) Video summary


Levitt, S.D & Dubner, S.J. (2011) Superfreakonomics. William Morrow Paperbacks. (For more on the relationship between name starting initials and publications, ethnicity of names)

Social Media

Crazy Domains (Check if the name you want is available as a URL)

A Fresh Start

James, A. Transgender Name Choice. Transgender Map.

A Wedding is Only One Day

Etiquette Hell (Light relief for stressed brides, grooms, or wedding party members!)

Kaufman, A. (2016) Bachelor Nation: Inside the World of America’s Favorite Guilty Pleasure. Dutton.

Etymonline: Bachelorette

Etymonline: Spinster

Montell, A. (2019) WordSlut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language. Harper Wave.

Frank, G. (2017) What to Expect When You Don’t Change Your Last Name After Marriage: 9 Things You Didn’t Know. Today.

Do I Have to Change My Name?… Then Why is It So Common?

Majkut, K. (2011) Why Women Change Their Last Names After Marriage. The Feminist Bride.

White, S. (2017) The Meaning of Traditional Wedding Cakes. Our Everyday Life.

Mack, L. (2017) 7 Popular Wedding Traditions That Are Actually Super Creepy. Insider.

World Wildlife Fund (Rather than purchasing something ivory, I sent my husband a WWF giftcard making a donation to elephant conservation on our 14th anniversary)

Tyler, M. (2015) No, Feminism Is Not About Choice. The Conversation.

Kiraly, M. & Tyler, M. eds. (2015) Freedom Fallacy: The Limits of Liberal Feminism. Connor Court Publishing.

Moran, C. (2012) How to Be a Woman. Harper Perennial.

Talking About It

Pasfield-Neofitou, S. – Relationships. Enrichmentality.

Pasfield-Neofitou, S. – Are We Speaking The Same Language? Enrichmentality.

Kishimi, I. & Koga, F. (2018) The Courage to be Disliked. Atria Books.

What To Do About It

Ni, P. (2013) The #1 Predictor of Divorce (and How to Prevent It). Psychology Today.


Etymonline: Husband.

Etymonline: Wife.

Scruton, E. (2017) Gender Insults in the Semantics-Pragmatics Interface.

Say ‘I Do’… To What Makes You Happiest

WonderWhy (2019) Why Countries Change Their Names. (video)

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